The Iraq War: A conversation with Frances Richey

[0:00]" But the name of the book is the warrior. A mother's story of the -- war and mining and France's twenty. To their helmets. -- of them half draped in the fold -- the rain -- How many have died because you weren't enough. Because he couldn't be everywhere. I wanted to put you -- that you weren't mine. You're only country that remnant of the current canal I felt one while he slept before the -- closed over it."

[0:34]" Tell us Francisco is this poem mean to you what prompted you to write this."

[1:53]" And not very hard I have to be honest it was very hard. I was against going into Iraq. These as a green beret. We felt that we absolutely should go and so there was that strings between that even if it hadn't been. Just seeing someone you love go into a situation. Into combat which is. You know it's just dangerous. All the time. It is. If it's so hard because you have no control there's nothing you can do to protect your child your husband your sister your brother whoever's going. You'd just have to wait and really not there's nothing you can do so that is it's that feeling of but helplessness in -- way and and writing was flat with the action I that made me feel. Less. Less helpless in more like I was in touch with them in some way."

[2:53]" I was going to say that that most mothers probably haven't put pen to paper or maybe. Not quite as eloquently as you have you talked to other women. Who've also. Had to let their sons or daughters go in and you know how maybe they have to handle things can you talk to each other perhaps."

[3:11]" Well I have I just got back from the book tour and I met a lot of moms and dads. In the different cities. We're. I gave readings. And they were. You know is different. In different situations some had kids who just graduated from West Point and they need you Banco. There was some -- it has. It was mostly young sons of repair and they went cry definitely it's very very hard to hold your emotions together. When -- with other people you know what you're going through I think there was. You know. Maybe it was this sense of vulnerability. And and the safety just in in. Being together. With with women are going all going to the same thing it was it was very moving. Most of them. To way to express how they felt. More than talking about what kind of action they were taking Q. To make themselves feel better. That growth coming through reading and talking to someone else he you know has the entryway he's been through is taking some actions and has two wonderful. Conversations. Out there was with and I also hear from a lot of moms on my web site. Me either hear about the book critic proof reading and they go to the web site and they write me. And I try to write back as many as -- plan because. I'd feel a trillion. A sacred. The sacred trust to be you know to the called -- To be written to ask. What I did so I kept the conversations and email it."

[5:00]" When I was preparing for the interview I've read some I don't know exactly and like. In -- material right now but. I guess. There was something that was said that it is hard for you and then to talk about the war are probably you know I mean especially because of Europe. Politically opposing views. And the palms were sort of away for use to bridge that and start some conversation MO what was that like."

[7:09]" Hasn't it it's hard. Lesson to learn or certainly hard way to come by that lesson."

[7:15]" It sounds so easy but it's really not when you're you know when you're deeply conflicted in here in your ideology. But -- values how are your world view that spoiling your child. Is. -- in combat and you know he may never see him again and your priorities comes together pretty quick."

[7:38]" So he was there to rise when exactly were -- tours of duty and and what is he doing now."

[7:45]" Was in Iraq the first time he left was that the toward the end of the year I guess -- in the fall of war. And he came he was -- for -- very and then came back. And he was home for several months and then he went back again so he was over there twice. From afford to that. And so that was two rotations and then he was home and during that time. Did he came back. He's been and he's been in four and nine years active duty at that time. And has just. This is his -- here and he went through decision making process and decided. Reluctantly but decided that does. This -- the time for him to get out of the army and he's actually going he's graduate school at Berkeley. To business school. And he's going to focus on energy."

[8:47]" Really loved the -- out there and I have to tell you I'm so thrilled that he's. That he's going to be in a beautiful place and then he's going to be up back in school. Studying -- really interest it and then and I imagine he'll graduated in. Contribute something quite different society than it did and I am really proud of them I mean I know. What ever -- he had a prepared. Kind -- you know he was doing good things or -- For. But it's going to be really nice to just. That he school."

[9:27]" How old is he now. Yeah some 33 tension by this he came home and injured."

[9:32]" Well it's interesting he came home he has. He is alive he. When you look at him he doesn't look like he has any injuries. He has his senses sense of humor is there you know. When they first come back. Or at least when he first came back the first time. It was it I didn't know he was pretty shut down. But. Since he's been back three. You know for a year now. He's -- them right now except that he's more grown up and knows more about the world and then he did was younger. But."

[10:10]" that just took time then and I mean he was able to do that without any. And -- therapy or anything."

[10:17]" look at green beret. And their mission their secret. And they tend to keep everything pretty close to -- that he hasn't talked to me about any of that. -- I have learned to -- So. Happy. That that he has come back to Koreas and I you know I'm not going to ask him because. If you want to talk about it he'll tell me. And the way he's the Leahy is right now his behavior tells me that whatever he did. It was the right thing when he came back. I don't know I don't know. Yeah -- transition."

[11:00]" Happen before we conclude let me ask you but what advice do you have you mentioned the women that you correspond with him if somebody else's listen to this. What what -- you have four and it as far as advice for other moms in this waiting period."

[11:14]" Well. I guess. Thinking about what helped me I can only say what I know helped me I have wonderful friends here. And and I talked to my friends and I. With very vulnerable -- them told them you know cried with them and none of them. -- in the military. But they were wonderful and that helped I work I'm against the teacher and when I was looking. I wasn't focusing on how afraid I was. And and of course the writing. Was just that really is what saved me was being able to. To go to the page right so what I would say other moms and dads you know if there's. Any any action that you can take it feels like a contribution you know they feel like. You're doing something. No matter what it is take that action and I would also I wish I had done its recommended it. Wherever you live to look for other moms and other families are going to the same thing. So that you can share that was I've found so moving. And even now that my son back home I'm so glad to be in touch with these."